Can I Date Someone New Before My Divorce Is Final Without Hurting My Case?

The decision to end a marriage marks the beginning of a long, emotionally taxing journey. You are in a state of limbo—no longer part of a couple, but not yet legally single. It is perfectly natural to feel lonely, to miss companionship, and to want to feel wanted again. The urge to “move on” by starting a new relationship can be powerful. You may feel that since the marriage is over in your heart and mind, your personal life is your own business.

This is a common and human response to the stress of a divorce.

What Does “No-Fault Divorce” Actually Mean in Kentucky?

Many people hear “no-fault” and incorrectly assume that a spouse’s behavior, such as adultery or dating, has zero impact on the divorce proceedings. This is a significant misunderstanding.

What “No-Fault” Means: Kentucky is a no-fault divorce state. This means you do not have to prove that your spouse did something wrong (like adultery, abandonment, or cruelty) to get a divorce. To file, you only need to state that the marriage is “irretrievably broken,” meaning there is no reasonable chance of reconciliation. The court does not need to hear why the marriage failed to grant the divorce itself.
What It Does NOT Mean: It does not mean that a spouse’s behavior during the marriage (or during the separation) is irrelevant to all other issues. Actions have consequences, and a judge can and will consider a spouse’s conduct when making decisions about property, support, and especially children.

Dating before the divorce is final is, in the eyes of the law, adultery. Even if your spouse is also dating, or even if they were the one who had an affair first, your new relationship can be used against you in ways that have serious, tangible consequences.

The Most Significant Risk: How Dating Impacts Child Custody

For any parent, nothing is more important than their children. If you have minor children, dating during your divorce is one of the riskiest things you can do. Every decision a Kentucky family court makes about children is based on one standard: the “best interests of the child.”

A judge’s primary duty is to place the children in a stable, safe, and supportive environment. A new relationship can easily be portrayed as the opposite of that.

Questions a Judge or Guardian Ad Litem Will Ask

A judge, or a court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) assigned to represent your children’s interests, will scrutinize your new relationship. They will be asking:

Is this parent focused on their children’s emotional needs during this difficult transition, or are they focused on their own romantic life?
Is this new partner a stable and safe person to have around minor children?
Has this new person been properly vetted? A judge will have serious concerns about a new, unknown adult having access to your children.
Is the new partner’s presence causing the children emotional distress, confusion, or loyalty conflicts?
Does the new partner have a criminal record or a history of substance abuse? (Your spouse’s attorney can investigate this).
Is this parent using good judgment by introducing a new person into their children’s lives before the divorce is even final?

The “Parental Judgment” Factor

A judge may view your decision to date as poor parental judgment. The logic is that a responsible parent’s full attention should be on helping their children navigate the trauma of the family breaking apart. Bringing a new romantic partner into that volatile mix can be seen as selfish and destabilizing for the children. This perception alone can be enough for a judge to favor the other parent when creating a parenting schedule or awarding decision-making authority.

“Morality Clauses” in Agreements

Even if you “win” custody, your new relationship can still be restricted. It is common for final divorce agreements to include a “morality clause.” This is a provision that often prohibits both parents from having an overnight romantic guest while the children are in their care. By dating during the divorce, you give your spouse powerful leverage to demand this clause, which could impact your personal life for years to come.

Financial Consequences: Property Division and Spousal Support

Your new relationship can also have a direct and negative impact on your financial settlement. This happens in two main ways: dissipation of assets and its effect on spousal support.

Dissipation of Marital Assets

In Kentucky, all property acquired during the marriage is considered “marital property” and is subject to “equitable distribution.” Equitable means “fair,” which often, but not always, means equal.

When you spend marital funds on a new partner, your spouse’s attorney will argue that you are “dissipating” or “wasting” marital assets.

What is dissipation? It is the use of marital money for a non-marital purpose after the marriage has begun to irretrievably break down.

Examples of dissipation include:

Taking your new partner on a vacation.
Buying them expensive gifts, such as jewelry or electronics.
Paying for expensive dinners, hotel rooms, or rent for your new partner.
Loaning them money.

During the discovery process, your attorney and your spouse’s attorney will exchange financial records. If your credit card statements or bank records show these kinds of expenses, a judge can—and likely will—penalize you for it. The judge may add up all the money you “wasted” on your new relationship and award that same amount to your spouse from your share of the marital property. In essence, you end up paying for those dinners and gifts twice.

Impact on Spousal Support (Maintenance)

Spousal support, called “maintenance” in Kentucky, is not automatic. It is awarded based on factors like one spouse’s financial need and the other’s ability to pay.

If you are seeking maintenance: If you are cohabitating (living with) your new partner, your spouse will argue that your financial need is reduced. They will claim that your new partner is contributing to your bills (rent, utilities, etc.), so you require less support, or none at all. This can seriously damage or eliminate your claim for maintenance.
If you might have to pay maintenance: Your spending on a new partner (dissipation) shows the court that you have disposable income, weakening any argument you might make that you cannot afford to pay support.

Practical Consequences: Fueling a Contested Divorce

Beyond the specific legal risks to custody and finances, dating during a divorce has a massive practical consequence: it creates conflict.

Divorce is already an emotional powder keg. Introducing a new partner is like lighting a match.

Increased Hostility: Your spouse, even if they were the one who wanted the divorce, is likely to feel hurt, betrayed, and replaced. An angry spouse is an uncooperative spouse.
Failed Mediation: Any hope of settling your case amicably in mediation will likely be destroyed. Your spouse will feel little incentive to negotiate fairly with you.
Higher Legal Fees: When a spouse is angry, they instruct their attorney to fight over everything. An issue that could have been resolved in a 10-minute phone call now requires formal motions, court hearings, and hours of attorney time. Your new relationship could be the single most expensive decision you make, turning a relatively straightforward, uncontested divorce into a long, painful, and financially draining contested legal battle.

The Dangers of Social Media and Digital Proof

In the modern age, there is no such thing as a “discreet” affair. Your spouse’s attorney can and will find evidence of your new relationship.

Social Media: Photos of you and your new partner, posts checking in at restaurants, or even “friends” your spouse does not recognize will be screenshotted and used as evidence.
Dating Apps: A profile on a dating app is definitive proof that you are seeking a new relationship.
Texts and Emails: These are all discoverable in a legal proceeding.
Private Investigators: While less common, an angry spouse with the means to do so may hire a private investigator to document your activities.

Anything you post online or send in a text can become “Exhibit A” in a court hearing, used to prove you are wasting assets, exercising poor judgment, or lying about your lifestyle.

What If My Spouse Is the One Dating?

If you are the one facing a spouse’s new relationship, the advice is to try and separate your emotional reaction from your legal strategy. While it is deeply painful, your anger will not help your case. Instead, you should:

Notify Your Attorney: Do not act on your own. Report what you know to your legal counsel.
Focus on the Legal Issues: The key questions are the same. Is your spouse wasting marital money on this new person? Is your spouse neglecting the children or exposing them to an inappropriate situation?
Gather Proof (Legally): Do not resort to illegal spying, hacking accounts, or recording conversations (which can violate an attorney-client privilege and be illegal). Do save public social media posts, copies of shared bank statements showing suspicious charges, or text messages your spouse sends to you about the new partner.
Let Your Attorney Handle It: Your lawyer will know how to use this information effectively, whether it is in a motion for temporary orders, during discovery, or at a final hearing.

The Safest Path Forward: Wait

The legal and financial minefield of dating during a divorce is vast. The most prudent advice from any experienced family law attorney will almost always be the same: wait.

Wait until the judge has signed the final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage. At that point, you are legally single, and your personal life is once again your own. The divorce process is temporary, but the consequences of a bad custody or financial ruling can last for decades.

Focus your energy on your own well-being and that of your children. Reconnect with friends and family, invest in a hobby, or seek support from a therapist. Rebuilding your own foundation is the healthiest way to prepare for a new chapter, one that begins after your divorce is final.

Build a Secure Path to Your New Beginning

The anxiety of not knowing what comes next can make it difficult to make clear, rational decisions for your future. Having a knowledgeable legal guide by your side can transform that uncertainty into a clear, manageable plan. If you are facing the challenges of a divorce and need guidance on what to expect, the legal team at John H. Ruby & Associates is here to help. We are dedicated to providing the information and support you need to manage the process with confidence and protect your interests. To discuss your situation and learn more about your options, schedule a consultation by calling us at 502-373-8044 or reaching out online.